Chapter 8

Hep woke up early and wandered down to the lobby to grab some of the flyers for nearby attractions. He ignored the ones for Oregon, and looked at those for Nevada and Idaho. One in particular caught his eye.

"World's largest polar bear, and a coffee bar? I guess a detour is in order." Hep thought to himself. He grabbed a Styrofoam cup of bad coffee and walked back to the room.

Scroat was still sleeping, and Jim was idly thumbing through the Gideon's bible when Hep got in. Hep nodded to Jim and put a finger up to his lips. "Be vewy, vewy quiet."

He picked up his hammer and walked over to where Scroat was sleeping, lifted the hammer, and forcefully swung it down into the bed, inches from Scroat's ear.

"You rotten, cock-biting bastard! Could you at least let me sleep in a bit? I did battle a giant last night, I'm a little worn out." Scroat said.

"There's no time. We've got to get to Nevada today."

"Nevada? I thought we were going through Idaho. What's going on?" Jim asked.

"A change of plan, that's all." Hep said.

Scroat tried to give Hep a suspicious look, but he couldn't suppress his grin. "Aw, Hep. You do love me."

"Meh. You're ok, but I saw that Nevada is home to the world's largest polar bear. And there's a coffee shop close by." Hep said.

Scroat scowled at Hep. "A polar bear and a coffee shop? You're the kind of guy who would promise little kids he would take them to Disneyworld, and then takes them to a fucking burned down warehouse instead and says 'Oh no, Disneyworld's burned down! Tough shit, kiddies!'"

"There's also a casino attached to the coffee shop and it's in Nevada. You ought to be able to stay entertained while I marvel at a big bear and drink coffee." Hep said.

They rode south into Nevada. When they reached Imlay, they found a grocery store and got some food, water, cigars and other essentials. Then they rode out and found the Thunder Mountain Park. Once there, they pulled out their food and ate a bit.

"So, where are you guys actually from?" Jim asked. "I mean, you two don't exactly look like you're from around here."

"Well, I'm Greek, " Hep said. "I guess you could say I'm from Olympus, though I was thrown out. Then they let me back in."

"What's the deal with that?" Jim asked.

"Well, my mom was kind of a bitch." Hep said.

"Yeah, your mom was more than kind of a bitch. She's the bitch that others aspire to be." Scroat said.

"You want to talk about fucked up relatives, Scroat? Or, should I say, relatives you fucked?"

"Aw, fuck you."

Jim looked distinctly uncomfortable. "Umm... so where are you from, Scroat?"

"Australia."

"So how did you two end up in the United States?"

"I think it was all that damn tequila we drank in Mexico. We got lost, came north on a whim, and decided we'd hang out here for a while." Scroat said.

"Umm... so how did you get to Mexico?" Jim asked.

"How the fuck should I know? I was shit-faced. Hell, I'd be shit-faced right now if we weren't on an epic quest." Scroat said, then took a large bite of beef jerky.

"How did you end up in Mexico, Hep?" Jim said.

"Well, I'd met up with another blacksmith, and he thought it'd be fun to meet the Aztecs. They turned out to be a lot less fun than we were expecting." Hep said.

"Let's go check out this park." Hep started walking into the park. It was really less of a park, and more a tribute to the amazing properties of concrete and scrapyard junk.

Scroat stopped to admire a sculpture of a naked woman. "Hot damn, I could go for some of that."

Hep noticed a sculpture of a Native American man holding a disembodied, blond head with a forked tongue sticking out.

"Hey Scroat, think this head is one of your relatives?" Hep asked.

"Hey Hep, why don't you go eat a heaping bowl of shit?" Scroat replied. "Have you seen enough of this place yet? I can't believe we're in Nevada, looking at some crazy guy's art. You know that gambling and prostitution are legal here, right? He started stomping back to his bike.

Jim was flying through some of the pretzel-like arches. If he were actually bound by laws of physics, his aeronautics would have been impressive.

"Let's go Jim" Hep said.
***
They were riding east when the thunderstorm rolled in. There wasn't anywhere for them to pull in, so they just kept riding as the sky got more and more black.

One drop of rain hit them. Then two. Then the gates opened and it started raining so hard they couldn't see more than ten feet in front of them.

And then, as quickly as it started, it stopped.

"What the hell was that?" Jim asked, shocked.

"Welcome to the desert, Jim." Hep said.

***
They got into Elko around three in the afternoon. Hep spotted the White King statue almost immediately, rode up and parked his bike.

He walked over to Scroat and said "Well buddy, I know you're itching for some kind of action, and there's a casino right here."

"Fuck gambling, I saw four different whorehouses. Right now, the only thing I'm going to do is try to decide between Sue's Fantasy Club and Inez's Dancing & Diddling. I'll catch you later, chump." Scroat said, and rode off.
"How about you Jim?" Hep asked.

"Well, I wouldn't mind seeing the bear. But then I think I'm going to go into the casino and see what that's like."

"Alrighty then." Hep said, and strolled into the Commercial Hotel & Casino's coffee shop.
***
Hep and Jim stood gawking at the 10 foot tall polar bear, entirely out of place in a coffee shop so far south of the Arctic Circle.

Jim quietly said "Well, that's pretty neat. I'm going to go check out the casino."

Hep sipped his coffee and kept looking at the bear.

Not too long after that, a familiar voice next to Hep drawled "That's a mighty big bear."

"Howdy Elvis." Hep said.

"Hey there." Elvis replied.

"What's the good word?" Hep asked.

"Well, according to the grapevine, some bad eggs heard about you and that thing of Tommy's. Sounds like they want to make sure he doesn't get it back." Elvis said.

"Oh yeah? Any idea who these people are?"

"Nope." Elvis said.

"Hmm. Thanks for the info, buddy. You want some coffee?"

"Nah, I gotta get down to Vegas, since I'm here in Nevada anyway. I haven't been there for years, you know. I heard they got guys who dress up like me and jump out of airplanes." Elvis looked skeptical.

"No shit? Man, that'd be a sight."

"Yep. Well, you take care of yourself." Elvis put his sunglasses on and started to leave.

"Sure thing." Hep said.

He got another copy, and sat down, staring at the giant bear. He lifted his cup to the bear and said "You're a long way from home, friend."

Hep thought about what Elvis had told him. If people were out to stop them, they'd have to stay low key. Brawling with Jeb in the middle of town probably hadn't been such a good idea.

If he didn't get Tommy's tobacco pouch back to him, bad things would start to happen. Should they fuck up somehow, they'd be contradicting a myth. That might not be so bad if they were all part of the same pantheon, but they weren't. If Hep broke the rules laid out by Tommy's mythology, Tommy's entire reality would no longer be valid.

Would Tommy disappear? Probably not, but things certainly wouldn't go well for Tommy. Bad luck would start to follow him. Really bad luck. And pretty soon, Tommy would die in an ugly way.

And since one mythology had unraveled, the others would be that much easier to destroy.

They were going to need to be careful.

Hep finished his coffee and left. He had to go find Scroat.