They were amazed when they got outside and all of their bikes were there. Well, all of them except for Charlie's Ducati.
"What the fuck is this?" Too Tall asked no one in particular.
"I don't know," Brian said, "but if the bikes still run, I'm ok with whatever it is."
They went to their bikes and looked them over. It was like they'd parked them there the night before; there were no traces of hot-wiring or other tom-foolery.
"So what should we do?" Too Tall asked.
"Ride west," Athena replied.
On the way out of town, they stopped to gas up, and were once again amazed as their tanks were already full of gas.
"This is incredible," J.J. said.
They got out on the road again, and pointed their bikes towards San Antonio.
***
Aphrodite had hired the man in the Fedora to follow Hep and call her whenever anything odd happened. She'd gotten a lot of calls that were mostly amusing (notably every time Hep and Scroat beat up a statue), but occasionally concerning. When she'd heard that Scroat's friends had gotten their bikes stolen, she pulled some string with people she knew to make sure they got their bikes back in better condition than they'd left them in.As it was, they were going to find out that they didn't ever need to stop for gas again.
Being friends with a god has its perks.
She heard that all of the bikes had been returned to them, except for Charlie's Ducati which was en route to his home in Colorado. It would make a nice "welcome home" surprise.
The man she hired, named Frank, seemed like a good kid, if a little dim. He was obsessed with old noir detective movies. She was relieved to find that, even though he'd bought enough cigarettes and "detective" clothes to outfit an entire army of Humphrey Bogart imprersonators, he had not armed himself with a pair of revolvers in shoulder holsters. He seemed like the type that would mistakenly shoot the good guys.
Although she was far from faithful to Hep, she still thought he was an awfully nice guy (except for the time he'd stuck her and Ares in a net), and she didn't want anything bad to happen to him. At least, nothing disabling.
***
Hep and his crew left El Paso and rode North to Mesilla, New Mexico. They stopped at The Double Eagle restaurant for a late breakfast. While they ate, Jim explored the restaurant a little bit. He was having an absolutely fantastic time, even when things weren't going well for them. He'd been stuck as a ghost in the redwoods for a long time, and when he was alive he hadn't really seen much of the United States. As a ghost, he could get into places that living people rarely went, and he was a curious kind of guy.He was surprised to meet two other ghosts at the Double Eagle restaurant. Their names were Armando and Inez, and had apparently been killed by Armando's angry mother. When they asked Jim how he'd died, he told them a bear had attacked and killed him.
"That's harsh!" Armando said.
They asked him how he'd gotten out of the forest, as they'd been stuck in the building they were in since they died. Jim told them that his friends who were out in the restaurant eating had brought him with them after he had introduced himself while they were camping in the forest.
Eventually they got around to talking about why they were traveling. Jim told them his friends were trying to return something to another person. He told them about the people trying to stop them.
"We saw a group of guys in red shirts carrying helmets in here yesterday," Inez said. "They were saying something about changing routes and heading north to Albuquerque."
"Really? I'd better tell my friends." Jim said, and drifted over to the table everyone was sitting at. He introduced Armando and Inez to Hep and the rest of the crew.
"Please to meet you," Hep said.
"and no, you can't come with us," Scroat finished.
Jim told them that Armando and Inez had told him about the red shirted scooterist.
"So they know which way Tommy's headed already. Oh, that's not good," Charlie said.
"Nope," Hep said. "Thanks, you two," he said to Armando and Inez.
"We'd better get moving," Hep said. They paid their bill, and Jim said good bye to Armando and Inez. They told him to come visit any time, for the most part they were very lonely.
***
The UTMC crew stopped in Houston to gas up. They were stunned to see that all of their gas tanks were still completely full. "How is that possible?" Too Tall asked Minerva and Athena.
"I guess someone is on our side for a change," Athena replied.
They rode on to San Antonio.
***
Shortly outside of Mesilla, Hep and Scroat spotted another muffler man along the side of the road, behind a fence with barbed wire along the top.They passed by without incident. The statue didn't even blink. They were, to put it mildly, relieved.
"Man, I wish they'd put the rest of those fucking statues behind barbed wire," Scroat called to Hep.
Hep laughed, and they continued riding north to Albuquerque. The road was pretty dull, and they all spent the majority of the ride lost in their own thoughts. Hep was tired, and nearly dozed off a couple of times. He woke up both times with Jim staring him in the face yelling "Hey, none of us want to end up being ghosts stuck in the middle of freakin' New Mexico."
They stopped for lunch in Albuquerque at a Jack In The Box. Hep had a big cup of coffee.
"I guess we'd better try to get into Colorado today, and with any luck we'll catch up with Tommy in Denver tomorrow," Hep said.
"Sounds good to me," Scroat said. "I can't wait for this shit to be over so we can visit Tommy and then go home and sleep in our own damn beds for a change."
"I sure wouldn't mind finishing this up and being able to just go home to Aspen," Charlie said.
They finished eating and got moving again right away. On their way out of Albuquerque, they saw another muffler man, this one dressed as Paul Bunyan again. They decided to go a couple block around instead of passing the statue. None of them particularly felt like fighting yet another statues. Especially since they were pretty sure that last one wasn't Jeb. None of them wanted to find out who might be inside the next one. For all they knew, it could be one of the Aztecs they'd pissed off all those years ago.
On their way north, Hep saw a sign for "Stonefridge." He thought it would be fun to see Fridgehenge, to see if they managed to get it right. The Celts certainly didn't, though no one had the heart to tell them it was all wrong. Alas, there was no time for sight seeing, and it looked like "Stonefridge" was quite a distance out of their way.
He resolved to make another trip around the country to check out all the crazy stuff he'd missed after Tommy had his tobacco pouch back.
They kept riding north, and arrived in Colorado Springs just in time for dinner. They decided to stop in a grocery store and get some provisions to make their own dinner. Then they rode out to the "Authentic Indian Cliff Dwellings," and waited a short distance away until the small staff went home. Then they snuck in to the cliff dwellings and made themselves at home for the night.
"Nice of the Indians to build their cliff dwellings so close to a main road," Scroat commented.
"Ancient civic planning at it's best," Hep replied.
They had salami and cheese sandwiches to eat and then explored the cliff dwellings a bit. There were convenient signs telling them all about each room.
"I think these cliff dwellings are a hoax," Charlie said.
"Best kind of cliff dwelling there is. People get mad when you try to camp out in real ancient cliff dwellings," Hep said.
"Yeah, because the Indians never wanted anyone to actually live in the cliff dwellings. They were always just fucking model homes," Scroat cracked.
"You're a jerk, Scroat," Charlie said.
"Hey, at least I'm not riding in a sidecar like a bitch," Scroat shot back.
"Ok, chill out gentlemen. I'm going to sleep," Hep said. "Jim, don't wander too far. If something weird comes this way, wake us up."
"You got it," Jim said.
Hep, Scroat, Charlie and Dave spread out their blankets and tried to get comfortable. It was a bit challenging since the floor were rock, but they were all tired enough to fall asleep shortly after laying down.
Jim hung around just outside the entrance to the "cliff dwelling" they were sleeping in.
***
Since they didn't have to stop for gas, the UTMC crew and Minerva and Athena were able to ride straight through to El Paso. By they time they arrived they were awfully sore, and a bit jittery from all the coffee they'd gotten along the way. They found a place to camp for the night, and got ready to crash. They drew straws for who would stand watch, and what shift each watch had to take.Too Tall got the first watch. "Dammit," he said, then stomped over to the picnic table in their campground and lit a cigarette. When it was time for the next person to start, he went over and woke J.J. up.
"Already?" J.J. asked. "Fuck." Too Tall laid down and fell asleep within seconds.
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