After an hour and a half, Hep finally gave up and pulled in to use a payphone. Across the street was a graphics company with a gigantic fiberglass pineapple on the roof.
For once, the fiberglass statue wasn't watching them.
Hep put a couple coins into the payphone, and pulled out a crumpled sheet of paper with some phone numbers on it. He found the number he was looking for, and dialed.
"Hi Minerva, it's Hep," he said, and listened for a moment. "Yeah, we got ourselves into a bit of shit."
Hep talked to Minerva for a few minutes, and got directions to her shop. He thanked her, and hung up.
"So who are we here to see?" Charlie asked.
"Well, Minerva. And Athena. I understand they build pipe organs now." Hep said.
"You gotta be fucking kidding me." Scroat said. "Pipe organs?"
"Yeah. After all, if you're going to build musical instruments, you might as well build really, really big ones." Hep said.
They rode off, and arrived at the shop about twenty minutes later. A discrete sign on the building told them that it was home to "Beatific Organ Co."
"Kind of a girly name," Charlie quipped.
"Don't let either of them hear you say that," Hep said. "Athena is fond of finding creative ways to dismember smart asses."
They went inside. Athena and Minerva were waiting to greet them in the lobby. Hep and Scroat said hello, then Hep introduced Charlie and Jim.
"Well, you guys dropped in at the right time. Our current opus is on hold, pending funding." Minerva said.
"We mostly sell organs to churches. Every now and then, they have trouble coming up with the cash, and we have to wait for them," Athena said.
"I bet some of those holy rollers would pop a vein if they knew who you two really are." Hep said.
"Doubtless," Minerva said, and smiled. "Well, come in, we'll show you our factory."
Minerva and Athena led the four through an office that was only remarkable because of the detailed drawings of pipe organs strewn around the room. They went through a double door and onto the factory floor.
There they were immediately dwarfed by a rank of bass pipes, easily twenty feet tall. They walked around that rank, and were able to see several organs in varying stages of completion.
"We've got three projects underway right now for paying customers, two that are on hold, and one organ that we're working on as a showpiece for our factory." Athena told them.
"I had no idea there was such a big market." Hep said.
"You wouldn't believe it if I told you," Minerva said. "Of course, it takes a long time to make a sale. A pipe organ isn't exactly an impulse purchase."
"Well, there was that one.." Athena started.
"...But that's hardly the norm," Minerva finished.
In another room, they heard someone sounding a particular note, seemingly at random intervals.
"Steve is rough tuning some of the pipes right now. Shall we adjourn to our office?" Minerva asked.
"Yes, let's do." Hep replied.
Minerva led them into her office, while Athena stayed in the shop and went back to work on one of the organs. She sat behind her desk, while Hep, Scroat and Charlie found chairs. Jim couldn't resist and went back out to the factory.
"So, the word on the street is that you guys are trying to unmake the world, in a roundabout way," Minerva said.
"No, no, we're trying to save the world in a roundabout way," Hep said. "And to be honest, we're just trying to return Tommy's tobacco pouch. All the threats of chaos-plunging and world-ending are from Seth."
"He was always sort of a jerk," Minerva said. "So, what brings you to our humble workshop?"
"I was hoping you and Athena might ride with us, at least for a while. Two of the gentlemen who were accompanying us got kidnapped, and the rest of their group went to look for them. So for the time being we could use an extra person or two. Just in case something goes down." Hep said.
"What makes you think we'll leave the shop and abandon our business for an undetermined length of time?" Minerva asked.
"Well, I'm guessing neither of you have gotten to righteously smite anyone for a while. Especially if most of your social contacts are priests. So far, there have been ample opportunities for smiting, and I expect there will be many more in the next several days. Also, last I checked, you weren't too keen on the end of the world. At least, just yet," Hep said.
"You can be so persuasive when you want to be," Minerva said.
"Stop that, please," she said to Scroat, who was fiddling with a detailed scale model of a pipe organ. "I haven't closed the sale for that organ yet." Scroat set the model back down and starting twiddling his thumbs.
Minerva sat back in her chair and closed her eyes, silent for a moment. "All right, we'll come with."
"Aren't you going to check with Athena?" Scroat asked.
"She's already got our bikes ready to go. We heard you were heading this way a couple days ago." Minerva said, and smiled.
They went out to the shop again, and saw that Athena was already in her leathers, rolling the bikes out the large doors in the back of the shop. They had a matching pair of black Harley-Davidson softails.
Athena came back in and closed the garage door, "So are we ready to go, or what?"
***
Dave and the UTMC crew were headed south, riding double-time to catch up with Hep and the guys. Jeb was still on the back of Dave's bike.Dave was thinking hard about Jeb and the oddity of their experience in the cave. He was puzzled over how easy it was for them to get away. He had expected some kind of resistance, but they were able to get in and out without so much as tripping over a pile of tin cans. He had a hard time believing that Seth was so sloppy. That meant that either Seth got all the information he needed from another source, or that the passenger behind him was still in league with Seth.
He knew that folks like Hep and Scroat could and would suffer through a hell of a lot more than most people in order to achieve an end. He assumed that, like Hep and Scroat, Jeb was a god of some sort, or some kind of extra-human being, at any rate. He was certain that no mortal could keep living with his head twisted that far around.
Dave decided that they should head further east than he knew Hep was going, and see if trouble cropped up around them. If so, Jeb got the boot. If not, they could catch up with everyone else easily enough.
He led the UTCM crew into Delaware.
***
Hep, Scroat, Charlie, Jim, Minerva and Athena were heading south. They'd decided they would stop for the day in Durham, North Carolina.As they rode through VA, the number of military memorials and monuments impressed them. They didn't stop at any of the memorials, or places where history happened, however. All of them had seen enough war remnants, and they were worried that if they stopped, Virginia might become the site of even more heavy history.
Just before they crossed the border into North Carolina, Hep saw a hitchhiker on the side of the road. As they got closer, he was shocked to see that it was a nun in a traditional habit. He pulled in and stopped, and the rest of the group pulled over behind him.
"Hi there, sister, where are you headed?" Hep asked.
"I'm trying to get to Charlotte," the nun said.
"Well, we're headed as far as Durham tonight. Want a lift?" Hep asked.
The nun looked around at the group. They looked like a dangerous bunch, but she didn't think they looked malicious.
"Yes, please. I'd love a ride," the nun said.
"Well, let me clear some room for you in the sidecar here," Hep said. In reality, there was plenty of room in the sidecar, but he wanted to give Jim an opportunity to move. Jim took the opportunity, as he thought occupying the same space as a nun would just be... weird. He moved to sit behind Hep.
"Thank you," the nun said. "My name is Sister Agnes."
"Your welcome, Sister. I'm Hep, that's Scroat, Charlie, Athena and Minerva," Hep said. He finished rummaging through the sidecar. "There, hop in."
Sister Agnes got in, and Hep pulled back onto the road.
***
They arrived in Durham, and Hep offered to buy Sister Agnes dinner. They ate at a place called Elmo's Diner. They ate, and talked among themselves. At one point during the dinner, Scroat turned to the nun."Sister, I'd like to talk to you about sin," he said.
Sister Agnes was mildly surprised. "Of course, what about sin specifically do you want to talk about?"
"Well, it seems to me that you nuns try to live a sin-free life," Scroat said.
"Well, yes," the nun said.
"Doesn't it get kind of boring?" Scroat asked.
"Certainly not, I am happy to spend my life in the Lord's service," the nun replied.
"Well, it seems to me that a major foundation of the church is forgiveness and redemption from sin," Scroat said.
"Yes?" Sister Agnes replied, somewhat wary.
"Well, in order for my sins to be forgiven, I'd need to sin, right?" Scroat asked.
"Umm, well.." Sister Agnes started.
"And since forgiveness is a pillar of the faith, it seems to me that sinning is fact vital to the continuation of your religion," Scroat continued.
"I don't understand what you're trying to say," Sister Agnes said.
"Well, what I'm saying is that sinning is vital to redemption, and therefore, sin is holy. Right?" Scroat said.
"Well, no that's not the..." she started to say.
"It is therefore my opinion that we should all go and get extremely fucking drunk, and find someone to have crazy, filthy, anonymous sex with in a tub full of baked beans, while there's still time. In order to get closer to God," Scroat concluded, with a smug smile.
It took a moment for Sister Agnes to process what Scroat had just said, because she couldn't believe what she just heard. She stood up, turned to Hep and thanked him kindly for dinner.
Then she turned back to Scroat and said, "I shall pray for you," and left the restaurant.
"Hey! Pray that I find a particularly hot piece of ass would ya? I haven't had a good fuck in weeks, it seems!" Scroat called after her.
Hep slapped him Scroat upside the head.
"What the hell did you do that for?" Scroat asked, rubbing the back of his head.
"Because that was just a dick move. She was just a sweet old lady." Hep said.
"Well, if I'd known you were going to get all butt-hurt about it, I would have kept my mouth shut. Though, you know, she's a nun. There's no way she was just a sweet old lady." Scroat said.
"Whatever. You're still a dick." Hep said.
***
Dave and the UTMCers stopped in Greensboro. They checked in to a cheap motel, and a couple of them ran to a nearby grocery store to get some cold cuts, bread and beer.Dave helped Jeb into a room, and told him they'd be back in a bit, and that Hep would be meeting them there shortly. Then he gathered the rest of the crew and they went to gas up their bikes. Then they headed to the grocery store to meet the others. Once they were well stocked with food and beer, they headed to a nearby park to wait for about an hour.
Dave and Too Tall walked back to the motel to see if anything weird was happening there. Dave was mildly dismayed to see a group of fifty or so scooterists in red shirts hanging out in the parking lot of the motel.
"Crap. Well, now we know how we got away so easily the other day," Dave said. "Let's get out of here."
***
The UTMCers were well on their way to Virginia by the time Jeb realized that they weren't coming back, and that Hep and the rest probably weren't coming to meet them."Ooooh," he moaned, "this is not good."
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